I got into a conversation today about the comparison of life between others.
It started off with them talking about the regret they had for thinking their life was harder than others in the past when it clearly wasn’t.
While this is a very empathetic sentiment, I don’t really think this is a correct line of thought. Not only because it downplayed their own challenges and accomplishments in overcoming them, but also because it’s just not valid.
Here’s the thing, while it might not be an official law of nature (it could be), the laws of adaption apply to everybody and everything.
Similar to a newbie squatting for the first time, 185 pounds might seem like an impossible goal to reach and if they tried and it didn’t kill them, it would likely feel like the hardest thing in the world. But, you compare that to even a reasonably trained male, and that’s a warm-up weight.
Because they’ve experienced more pain and adapted to harder things to make that 185 pound squat now seem like a piece of cake.
This is no different than mental challenges and hardships.
This is why it’s so important to embrace pain and seek out the uncomfortable in your life.
Not only for the sense of accomplishment you get for overcoming seemingly impossible challenges, but because it forces you to overcome harder and harder things.
Accomplishing uncomfortable feats, even in a controlled environment, makes the minutiae of everyday life not seem quite so stressful and not seem so hard.
So, I don’t really see the whole “her life is harder than my life” or “his life is harder than my life” as a real thing.
Just like in the gym, we’re at different levels in our fitness and mental journeys, just like they are at their own level in theirs.
Whatever we’re going through, whether that’s a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend, being forced to wake up before 6:00 for the first time in your life, or being denied the chance to join the military after years of thinking that was your dream job, to that individual it is the hardest thing ever.
And you cannot deny them of that.
You just happened to have gone through more things or different things, to make that hardship seem minuscule to yourself, but we were all newbies once. And in some ways and some things we all still are.
All hardships are valid.